- How many are willing and able to plunge the depths of our hearts to deepen in our self-understanding?
- Claiming the love for knowledge, we willingly read to feed our intellect, to buffet our ability to reason and argue, present and convince. Yet how many have a strong desire to know themselves truly – to know one’s deepest loves, fears, anxieties, triggers? And desire to continue working for inner peace, balance, joy?
- At the risk of entering new territories or uncomfortable discoveries. Even at the risk of choosing a loving action (to self), which would cost some short term pain?
Someone once said to me, “Did fear ever kill anyone? Why are we so petrified by an imagined or perceived fear?”
A friend asked, “You have to ask yourself: At the end of the day, what do you want your life to be like? How do you want to live your life?”
It reminded me of a beautiful Bible verse, “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” (Mark 8:36)
More than this: I count it the greatest wealth and wisdom that I should come into a deeper union with the deepest ‘me’ whom God fearfully, and wonderfully made. Not the ‘me’ that people tell me I must or should be. Not the ‘me’ that teachers have suggested I could become, nor the ‘me’ my parents hoped me to achieve. Maybe all these, or maybe none of them at all. Not even the ‘me’ I have chosen to become in rebellion to all the ‘should be’s’ asked of me – for that is not even the real ‘me’, but a reaction from me. I believe that each of us is made in the image and likeness of God. We are imprinted with a soul so unique, that we will know we’ve been fooled at some point in life when we feel ill at ease with where we are at! And so we begin to doubt, question, search – that’s a good thing! It’s silly to brush off someone with, “Oh, it’s just a mid-life crisis – get over it.”
That is a cruel remark. That could be the precise moment when God whispers into their ear and says, “I love you for who you really are, who you are inside, so you no longer have to hide behind all these accessories, activities, or accolades. Come with me.”
When faced with the quest: to choose God first and over, choosing career, relationship, popularity, success, riches – which would I choose? The common fallacy here is we might think choosing God first and over the rest, would mean suffering in, or losing, career, relationship, riches, etc.
Yet what if choosing God first, means: letting all other things fall into their rightful place. That career, love, success, or whatever matters, begin to take their rightful order in the schema of a truly courageous and beautiful life? With such a pure desire for the foremost important love for the Divine, many things are rendered the sweeter by being cast in the generous glow of Love and Mercy. Hence:
“Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33)
No answers for now, just a lead, a clue, and a trail… to follow. One important lesson learnt, kindness and compassion for self first, always. Akan datang.